六人搞笑英語短劇 6人搞笑英語話劇劇本
焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)劉蘭芝Lunch(Lforshort)
焦母Johnny’smother(JMforshort)劉母Lunch’smother(LMforshort)
太守之子Mayor’sson(MSforshort)強(qiáng)盜Burglars(ABandC)
Prologue
(J作被打狀跑上臺(tái),內(nèi)砸出一卷紙筒,J被打中,狼狽不堪)
J:EverybodysaysthatI’mhenpecked,butinfact,I’masstrongasatiger,(小聲)whilemy
wifeisWuSong.
(指著上臺(tái)處的門大聲道)I’mnotafraidofyou!
(內(nèi)砸出一臉盆,J接住當(dāng)成盾牌護(hù)著頭)Then,I’mafraidofwhom?
MywifeLunchisthemostfamouswomanintheneighbor-hood.Sheisbraverthanme,
smarterthanmeandstrongerthanme.AllthisIdonotcare.Ionlywanthertobetender
thanme.Butsheisnot!Havingawifelikethisisjustlikelivinginthehell!
(內(nèi)又砸出一卷紙筒,擊中J)
MyGod!Whocanhelpme?(下)
Act1
(序幕結(jié)束時(shí),JM作竊聽狀)
JM(拄拐棍上):Ican!
(對(duì)門內(nèi))Lunch!Lunch!Whereareyou?
L(扎著圍裙,拿著鍋鏟,從門內(nèi)跳出來):I’mhere!What’supmum?
JM:I’vetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautifulgracefuland
dearestmother-in-law”.
L:OK.Mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law,what’sup?
JM:Sinceyoumarriedmysonyouhavebehavedsobadly.Youhavebeensorude,sobrusque,so
lazy……
L:But……
JM:Neverinterruptme!
L:Neverinterruptme!SinceImarriedyourson,thatterribleJohnny,Ihavebeenworkinghardall
daylong,cookingandwashing.Ihaveraisedtensofthousandsofpigsandducksandchicken
and……
JM:Butallthoseyouhavedonearenotasvaluableasagrandson!
L(生氣地?fù)]動(dòng)著鍋鏟):Oh,youwantagrandson,don’tyou?(開始解圍裙)Goandaskyour
son.I’mleaving!(扯下圍裙,扔在JM的臉上,下)
Act2
(LM坐在臺(tái)上打毛線,L拿著鍋鏟上)
L:Mum,I’mback!
LM:Youareback?Why?Whathappened?
L:Iwaskickedoutbymymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother–in-law.
LM(驚訝,但隨即露出幸災(zāi)樂禍的神情):See!Ihavealreadytoldyou!Whenyouinsistedon
marryingthatterribleJohnny,Itoldyouthatheisuglystupidandpoor,butyoudidnotlisten
tome.Lookatyourself……
L:But,mum……
LM:Neverinterruptme!
L:Mum,I’mnotinterruptingyou.IjustwanttotellyouthatyouarealwaysrightOK?And
I’llmarrywhomeveryouwantmeto.
LM(大喜):Nicegirl!Justnow,Imetthemayor’ssoninthemarket.Hesaid:“Ifyoudaughter
Haven’tbeenmarried,Ireallyreallywanttomarryher!”Nowyouarefreeagain,I’llgo
andtellhim.(下)
L(驚愕):What?Themayor’sson?Themostfamousplayboyintheneighbor-hood?(手中的鍋
鏟掉在地上)WhatasillythingIhavedone!(下)
Act3
(J睡眼惺忪上)
J(邊走邊道):Lunch!Lunch!Wherearemysocks?
(走了幾步,在地上撿起襪子)Heretheyare!(聞一下) Er!Howsmelly!Theyarestilldirty!
(突然想起)Lunchhasgone!Ihavetowashthemmyself.
(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起來)Oh,I’msohungry!Butthere’snobreakfast!(撿起地上的圍
裙)ThisiswhatLunchalwayswears!Imisshersomuch,andherexcellentcookingskill!Now
shehasgone.Ihavetocookformymotherandmyself.
JM(上):Where’smybreakfast?Where’sLunch?Hasn’tshegotupyet?
J:Mum,can’tyouremember?Lunchhasgone!
JM(沉吟片刻):Well,totellyouthetruthJohnny,asonwithoutawifeisuseless.Lunchisanice
girl,goandtakeherback!
J(立正敬禮):Yesmadam!
Act4
(J開心地走著，忽然跳出來三個(gè)強(qiáng)盜)
A:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!
Theroadisbuiltbyme!(抬腳重重地踩在一塊大石頭上)
B:AndIplantedonetree!(亦抬腳踩在同一塊石頭上)
C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---(欲踩石頭，但踩到了A的腳)
AB&C:Giveusallyourmoney!
J(搜遍了每一個(gè)口袋，掏出1角硬幣):Is1maoenough?
(三強(qiáng)盜暈倒?fàn)睿又司墼谝贿吷塘?
A:Whatbadluck!Thisguyisbroken!
B:Ifwecannotrobanymoneytoday,wewillhavenothingtoeattonight!
C:Iheardthatthemayor’ssonisgoingtomarryMissLiuLanzhinextmonth.WEcangoand
robthewedding!
A&B:Goodidea!
J(驚訝):What?What?Lunchisgoingtogetmarried?It’simpossible!
AB&C:Why?Aprettygirlandarichman,whatagoodcouple!
J:ButLunchismywife!Wehaven’tgotdivorcedyet!
(突然有了主意)I’vegotanidea!Youaregoingtorobthewedding,don’tyou?I’llgo
withyou.YoutakethemoneyandItakethebride.
B:Haveyougotanyexperience?
J:No.ButI’vegotthis!(J脫下鞋子從里面摸出一張支票，上書＄1，000，000)
Act5
(轉(zhuǎn)眼已到了婚禮之期．MS意氣風(fēng)發(fā)用紅綢牽著新娘上，J蓋著紅蓋頭極不情愿地被拉上臺(tái))
(J和三強(qiáng)盜躍至臺(tái)中)
ABC&J:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!
A:Theroadisbuiltbyme!
B:AndIplantedonetree.
C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---
J:Giveusallyourmoney!
(L聽到J的聲音，掀起了蓋頭)
L(驚喜萬分):Johnny!(不顧一切地飛奔到J的身邊并躲到了的身后)
(MS大怒，揮拳向J打來．J矮身一躲，MS打中了J身后的L，L暈倒)
J(火冒三丈):Howdareyoubeatmywife!（揮拳向MS沖去）
(J與MS混戰(zhàn)，JM上，以拐杖擊暈MS)
(J將MS胸前的新郎標(biāo)志扯下戴在自己胸前)
J(扶起L，關(guān)切地問):Honey,howareyou?
L(哭狀):Ihurtalot!
J:Don’tcrybaby.I’llgoandfetchthemedicine. (下)
L(起身去追):Waitforme! (跑下)
(音樂起 CanYouCelebrate)
下面這個(gè)也不錯(cuò)，是幽默話劇
荊珂刺秦王搞笑英語話劇劇本
旁白(Aside )/介紹（Introduction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.
Action I
太子丹（上，掏出鏡子梳頭，做自戀狀）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (畫外音：It’s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高興狀) Thank u mirror! （面對(duì)觀眾） I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister?
阿三(畢恭畢敬) : Honey, I am coming.
太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!
阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作殺狀）
太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世紀(jì)最需要的是什么，人才！這句話要跟觀眾交流，最好由觀眾來回答，然后拍阿三肩膀，做贊許狀） Good idea! But who is the right candidate?
阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.
太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?
阿三：Yes.
Action II
（《十面埋伏》中劉德華&金成武決斗時(shí)的音樂）
荊軻
Are you Li mochou?
李莫愁
Yes.
荊軻
OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.
李莫愁
Are you challenging me?
荊軻
Off course! 聳聳肩表示同意
李莫愁
Come on!
音樂起
兩人沖上前來
“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，兩刀砍死你啊。。。。”
李莫愁倒地
荊軻大笑
李莫愁痛苦狀：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?
荊軻: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we? （贏一個(gè)人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？）
李莫愁：Momma always said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you're gonna get." I got it, Momma is right.
荊軻再次大笑
太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you?
荊柯：Fine, thank you, and you?
太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”?
荊柯：Sure!
太子丹：How are you?
荊柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife?
太子丹暈倒
荊柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!
太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（畢恭畢敬）May I have your name card, please?
荊軻從兜里掏出一卷紙，上面寫著：
To be or not to be, that's a question.
阿三：Hero，we need your help.
荊柯：I am busy now!
太子丹：You can get a lot of money.
荊柯：I am very busy now!
阿三：IC, ID, IQ card?
荊柯：I am very very busy now!
阿三(手指上場(chǎng)的美女，激動(dòng)狀): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.
荊柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!
阿三：What? What’s the TCM?
荊柯; Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.
阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM?
觀眾甲：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM .
太子丹：I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new product of Unilever China.
荊柯（激動(dòng)）：Slimming tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t reduce my weight.
阿三：You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧？難道你真的想要嗎……
（《No matter》音樂起，荊軻先與阿三跳探戈，擁入懷中，又甩出去，阿三做嘔吐狀。然后荊軻與太子丹跳倫巴，最后太子丹擺一個(gè)女性化的造型，向后彎腰并抬其中一條腿，荊軻做調(diào)戲狀。）
荊柯(誠懇狀) Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.
太子丹與阿三（撞胯，擊掌）Yeah!
Action Ш
（《大話西游》主題曲響起）
荊珂挽著妻子，太子丹,阿三在后.
阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.
荊珂：Just stop here, please. Farewell, my friends
太子丹：I will miss you, baby.
（太子丹，阿三下。停頓。《泰坦尼克號(hào)》主題曲起，荊軻與妻子做Jack和rose在船頭的經(jīng)典造型，忽然荊軻看到一個(gè)美女——此時(shí)一個(gè)中國古典美女經(jīng)過，向荊軻拋媚眼，并拋下定情手絹。荊軻高興的盯著美女看，妻子發(fā)覺不對(duì)，扭過頭來。）
荊珂（急忙收斂）：Darling, I love you.
妻子：I love you! You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!（《肖申克的救贖》）
荊珂(流淚) ：I love you more. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you. (哪怕是世界末日我都會(huì)愛著你，選自《飄》)
妻子：Well. Be a man, just do it! I will be right here waiting for you.
荊珂（欲走還留，執(zhí)子之手又曰）：Sweetheart! You must do me this honor... promise me you will survive... that you will never give up... no matter what happens... no matter how hopeless... promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰坦尼克號(hào)沉船時(shí)，Jack對(duì)Rose的傾訴）.
妻子:"I promise."
荊軻:"Never let go. “
妻子:"I promise. I will never let go, Jack. I'll never let go."
（荊軻的發(fā)音和jack很像，所以加了一些《泰坦尼克號(hào)》的臺(tái)詞。）
妻子努力擠出幾滴眼淚，
荊珂上船，漸漸遠(yuǎn)去
妻子：It’s a good day to die. Never come back. Never…… Never……
妻子(掏出手機(jī)撥號(hào)，阿三接手機(jī))： Thank you very much. As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account.
阿三：Okay okay!
旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.
我有個(gè)主意 找老友記《Friends》的一集 去模仿演出~ 正好是六個(gè)人啊
（老友記 我的最愛啊~）
謝謝采納`
asdfasdfa
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焦母Johnny’smother(JMforshort)劉母Lunch’smother(LMforshort)
太守之子Mayor’sson(MSforshort)強(qiáng)盜Burglars(ABandC)
Prologue
(J作被打狀跑上臺(tái),內(nèi)砸出一卷紙筒,J被打中,狼狽不堪)
J:EverybodysaysthatI’mhenpecked,butinfact,I’masstrongasatiger,(小聲)whilemy
wifeisWuSong.
(指著上臺(tái)處的門大聲道)I’mnotafraidofyou!
(內(nèi)砸出一臉盆,J接住當(dāng)成盾牌護(hù)著頭)Then,I’mafraidofwhom?
MywifeLunchisthemostfamouswomanintheneighbor-hood.Sheisbraverthanme,
smarterthanmeandstrongerthanme.AllthisIdonotcare.Ionlywanthertobetender
thanme.Butsheisnot!Havingawifelikethisisjustlikelivinginthehell!
(內(nèi)又砸出一卷紙筒,擊中J)
MyGod!Whocanhelpme?(下)
Act1
(序幕結(jié)束時(shí),JM作竊聽狀)
JM(拄拐棍上):Ican!
(對(duì)門內(nèi))Lunch!Lunch!Whereareyou?
L(扎著圍裙,拿著鍋鏟,從門內(nèi)跳出來):I’mhere!What’supmum?
JM:I’vetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautifulgracefuland
dearestmother-in-law”.
L:OK.Mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law,what’sup?
JM:Sinceyoumarriedmysonyouhavebehavedsobadly.Youhavebeensorude,sobrusque,so
lazy……
L:But……
JM:Neverinterruptme!
L:Neverinterruptme!SinceImarriedyourson,thatterribleJohnny,Ihavebeenworkinghardall
daylong,cookingandwashing.Ihaveraisedtensofthousandsofpigsandducksandchicken
and……
JM:Butallthoseyouhavedonearenotasvaluableasagrandson!
L(生氣地?fù)]動(dòng)著鍋鏟):Oh,youwantagrandson,don’tyou?(開始解圍裙)Goandaskyour
son.I’mleaving!(扯下圍裙,扔在JM的臉上,下)
Act2
(LM坐在臺(tái)上打毛線,L拿著鍋鏟上)
L:Mum,I’mback!
LM:Youareback?Why?Whathappened?
L:Iwaskickedoutbymymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother–in-law.
LM(驚訝,但隨即露出幸災(zāi)樂禍的神情):See!Ihavealreadytoldyou!Whenyouinsistedon
marryingthatterribleJohnny,Itoldyouthatheisuglystupidandpoor,butyoudidnotlisten
tome.Lookatyourself……
L:But,mum……
LM:Neverinterruptme!
L:Mum,I’mnotinterruptingyou.IjustwanttotellyouthatyouarealwaysrightOK?And
I’llmarrywhomeveryouwantmeto.
LM(大喜):Nicegirl!Justnow,Imetthemayor’ssoninthemarket.Hesaid:“Ifyoudaughter
Haven’tbeenmarried,Ireallyreallywanttomarryher!”Nowyouarefreeagain,I’llgo
andtellhim.(下)
L(驚愕):What?Themayor’sson?Themostfamousplayboyintheneighbor-hood?(手中的鍋
鏟掉在地上)WhatasillythingIhavedone!(下)
Act3
(J睡眼惺忪上)
J(邊走邊道):Lunch!Lunch!Wherearemysocks?
(走了幾步,在地上撿起襪子)Heretheyare!(聞一下) Er!Howsmelly!Theyarestilldirty!
(突然想起)Lunchhasgone!Ihavetowashthemmyself.
(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起來)Oh,I’msohungry!Butthere’snobreakfast!(撿起地上的圍
裙)ThisiswhatLunchalwayswears!Imisshersomuch,andherexcellentcookingskill!Now
shehasgone.Ihavetocookformymotherandmyself.
JM(上):Where’smybreakfast?Where’sLunch?Hasn’tshegotupyet?
J:Mum,can’tyouremember?Lunchhasgone!
JM(沉吟片刻):Well,totellyouthetruthJohnny,asonwithoutawifeisuseless.Lunchisanice
girl,goandtakeherback!
J(立正敬禮):Yesmadam!
Act4
(J開心地走著，忽然跳出來三個(gè)強(qiáng)盜)
A:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!
Theroadisbuiltbyme!(抬腳重重地踩在一塊大石頭上)
B:AndIplantedonetree!(亦抬腳踩在同一塊石頭上)
C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---(欲踩石頭，但踩到了A的腳)
AB&C:Giveusallyourmoney!
J(搜遍了每一個(gè)口袋，掏出1角硬幣):Is1maoenough?
(三強(qiáng)盜暈倒?fàn)睿又司墼谝贿吷塘?
A:Whatbadluck!Thisguyisbroken!
B:Ifwecannotrobanymoneytoday,wewillhavenothingtoeattonight!
C:Iheardthatthemayor’ssonisgoingtomarryMissLiuLanzhinextmonth.WEcangoand
robthewedding!
A&B:Goodidea!
J(驚訝):What?What?Lunchisgoingtogetmarried?It’simpossible!
AB&C:Why?Aprettygirlandarichman,whatagoodcouple!
J:ButLunchismywife!Wehaven’tgotdivorcedyet!
(突然有了主意)I’vegotanidea!Youaregoingtorobthewedding,don’tyou?I’llgo
withyou.YoutakethemoneyandItakethebride.
B:Haveyougotanyexperience?
J:No.ButI’vegotthis!(J脫下鞋子從里面摸出一張支票，上書＄1，000，000)
Act5
(轉(zhuǎn)眼已到了婚禮之期．MS意氣風(fēng)發(fā)用紅綢牽著新娘上，J蓋著紅蓋頭極不情愿地被拉上臺(tái))
(J和三強(qiáng)盜躍至臺(tái)中)
ABC&J:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!
A:Theroadisbuiltbyme!
B:AndIplantedonetree.
C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---
J:Giveusallyourmoney!
(L聽到J的聲音，掀起了蓋頭)
L(驚喜萬分):Johnny!(不顧一切地飛奔到J的身邊并躲到了的身后)
(MS大怒，揮拳向J打來．J矮身一躲，MS打中了J身后的L，L暈倒)
J(火冒三丈):Howdareyoubeatmywife!（揮拳向MS沖去）
(J與MS混戰(zhàn)，JM上，以拐杖擊暈MS)
(J將MS胸前的新郎標(biāo)志扯下戴在自己胸前)
J(扶起L，關(guān)切地問):Honey,howareyou?
L(哭狀):Ihurtalot!
J:Don’tcrybaby.I’llgoandfetchthemedicine. (下)
L(起身去追):Waitforme! (跑下)
(音樂起 CanYouCelebrate)
下面這個(gè)也不錯(cuò)，是幽默話劇
荊珂刺秦王搞笑英語話劇劇本
旁白(Aside )/介紹（Introduction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.
Action I
太子丹（上，掏出鏡子梳頭，做自戀狀）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (畫外音：It’s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高興狀) Thank u mirror! （面對(duì)觀眾） I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister?
阿三(畢恭畢敬) : Honey, I am coming.
太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!
阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作殺狀）
太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世紀(jì)最需要的是什么，人才！這句話要跟觀眾交流，最好由觀眾來回答，然后拍阿三肩膀，做贊許狀） Good idea! But who is the right candidate?
阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.
太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?
阿三：Yes.
Action II
（《十面埋伏》中劉德華&金成武決斗時(shí)的音樂）
荊軻
Are you Li mochou?
李莫愁
Yes.
荊軻
OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.
李莫愁
Are you challenging me?
荊軻
Off course! 聳聳肩表示同意
李莫愁
Come on!
音樂起
兩人沖上前來
“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，兩刀砍死你啊。。。。”
李莫愁倒地
荊軻大笑
李莫愁痛苦狀：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?
荊軻: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we? （贏一個(gè)人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？）
李莫愁：Momma always said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you're gonna get." I got it, Momma is right.
荊軻再次大笑
太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you?
荊柯：Fine, thank you, and you?
太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”?
荊柯：Sure!
太子丹：How are you?
荊柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife?
太子丹暈倒
荊柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!
太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（畢恭畢敬）May I have your name card, please?
荊軻從兜里掏出一卷紙，上面寫著：
To be or not to be, that's a question.
阿三：Hero，we need your help.
荊柯：I am busy now!
太子丹：You can get a lot of money.
荊柯：I am very busy now!
阿三：IC, ID, IQ card?
荊柯：I am very very busy now!
阿三(手指上場(chǎng)的美女，激動(dòng)狀): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.
荊柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!
阿三：What? What’s the TCM?
荊柯; Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.
阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM?
觀眾甲：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM .
太子丹：I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new product of Unilever China.
荊柯（激動(dòng)）：Slimming tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t reduce my weight.
阿三：You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧？難道你真的想要嗎……
（《No matter》音樂起，荊軻先與阿三跳探戈，擁入懷中，又甩出去，阿三做嘔吐狀。然后荊軻與太子丹跳倫巴，最后太子丹擺一個(gè)女性化的造型，向后彎腰并抬其中一條腿，荊軻做調(diào)戲狀。）
荊柯(誠懇狀) Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.
太子丹與阿三（撞胯，擊掌）Yeah!
Action Ш
（《大話西游》主題曲響起）
荊珂挽著妻子，太子丹,阿三在后.
阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.
荊珂：Just stop here, please. Farewell, my friends
太子丹：I will miss you, baby.
（太子丹，阿三下。停頓。《泰坦尼克號(hào)》主題曲起，荊軻與妻子做Jack和rose在船頭的經(jīng)典造型，忽然荊軻看到一個(gè)美女——此時(shí)一個(gè)中國古典美女經(jīng)過，向荊軻拋媚眼，并拋下定情手絹。荊軻高興的盯著美女看，妻子發(fā)覺不對(duì)，扭過頭來。）
荊珂（急忙收斂）：Darling, I love you.
妻子：I love you! You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!（《肖申克的救贖》）
荊珂(流淚) ：I love you more. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you. (哪怕是世界末日我都會(huì)愛著你，選自《飄》)
妻子：Well. Be a man, just do it! I will be right here waiting for you.
荊珂（欲走還留，執(zhí)子之手又曰）：Sweetheart! You must do me this honor... promise me you will survive... that you will never give up... no matter what happens... no matter how hopeless... promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰坦尼克號(hào)沉船時(shí)，Jack對(duì)Rose的傾訴）.
妻子:"I promise."
荊軻:"Never let go. “
妻子:"I promise. I will never let go, Jack. I'll never let go."
（荊軻的發(fā)音和jack很像，所以加了一些《泰坦尼克號(hào)》的臺(tái)詞。）
妻子努力擠出幾滴眼淚，
荊珂上船，漸漸遠(yuǎn)去
妻子：It’s a good day to die. Never come back. Never…… Never……
妻子(掏出手機(jī)撥號(hào)，阿三接手機(jī))： Thank you very much. As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account.
阿三：Okay okay!
旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.
我有個(gè)主意 找老友記《Friends》的一集 去模仿演出~ 正好是六個(gè)人啊
（老友記 我的最愛啊~）
謝謝采納`
asdfasdfa
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桑日縣蝸輪： ______ CastAnita: Never understands why students like to skip classes不明白為什么學(xué)生喜歡逃課Kevin: Treats “skipping classes” as the principle ofuniversit...
桑日縣蝸輪： ______ 1, boy, dare to chase my horse's son! Please say, play the leading role of independently or is group beaten up? Group is beaten up, a gang of of us beat up one of your; Challenge alone, you choose us a gang of! 2nd, x power of function and ...
桑日縣蝸輪： ______ 《孔雀東南飛》(英文搞笑話劇)Source:nbsp;nbsp;nbsp;nbsp;2007-03-30nbsp;12:03:58nbsp;nbsp;nbsp;恒星英語學(xué)習(xí)網(wǎng)nbsp;nbsp;nbsp;Favoritenbsp;Wanderseveryfivemiles焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)劉蘭芝Lunch(Lforshort)焦母Johnny'smother...
