英語小笑話（帶翻譯）短些 簡單的英語小笑話(帶翻譯）
1、Warning
Several weeks after our son began his freshman year at Alma College in Michigan, my husband and I decided to visit him.
I was careful to call him a few days in advance to "warn" him that we would be coming.
When we arrived at the dorm, however, I was taken aback by the disarray of his room. "Forgot we were coming, didn‘t you?" I teased.
"Are you kidding?" he replied, "Why else would I have bothered to clean?"
提醒
我們的兒子是密歇根州阿爾馬大學(xué)的新生，開學(xué)幾個(gè)星期之后，我和丈夫決定去看看他。我特意提前給他打電話，“提醒”他我們將光臨。
但是當(dāng)我們來到宿舍時(shí)，他的房間凌亂不堪，我非常吃驚。“忘了我們要來，是吧?”我取笑他。
“開什么玩笑?“，他回答說，“要不我憑什么費(fèi)神打掃?”
2、Ground Rules
One of my favorite teachers at Southeast Missouri State University in Cape Girardeau was known of his droll sense of humor.
Explaining his ground rules to one freshman class, he said, "Now I know my lectures can often be dry and boring,
so I don‘t mind if you look at your watches during class. I do, however, object to your pounding them on the desk to make sure they‘re still running."
基本原則
位于吉拉多海角的密蘇里東南州立大學(xué)有一位我非常喜歡的老師，他奇特的幽默感很是出名。在對一個(gè)新生班級講解他的基本原則時(shí)，
他說：“我知道我的講課可能經(jīng)常會(huì)枯燥乏味，了無生趣，所以如果你們在上課時(shí)看表我并不介意。
不過我堅(jiān)決反對你們將表在課桌上猛敲看它們是不是還在走。”
3、After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV,
"Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?"
After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."
晚飯后，父親和母親都忙著和客人玩麻將，這時(shí)母親忽然想起點(diǎn)兒事來，便對正在看電視的兒子說道：“寶貝，去看看廚房里的燈是不是還開著呢？” 過了一會(huì)兒，兒子回來說：“媽，廚房里太黑了，我根本就看不見。”
4、Young hopeful：“Father，what is a traitor in politics，F(xiàn)ather（aveteranpolitician）：“A traitor is a man who leaves our party and goes over to the other one．”
Young hopeful：“Well then，what is a man who leaves his party and comes over to yours？” Father：“A convert，my son．”
有希望的青年人：“父親，什么叫政治叛徒？” 父親（一位老資格的政治家）：“叛徒指的是離開我們黨而加入到另一個(gè)黨的人。”
有希望的青年人：“那么，離開他的黨而加入到我們黨的人又叫什么呢？” 父親：“叫改變信仰者。我的兒子。”
5、I do not know the reason why some people want to get up late. They will never have the opportunity to enjoy (of enjoying) the fresh air and calmness of the morning.
This is indeed a quite regrettable thing.To rise early is a good habit (which) we should cultivate. Why? Because the best time when we can pursue our studies is in the morning.
In addition, early rising is also good to our health. I hope that everybody our knows the reason why we must rise early.
我不知道某些人要晚起的理由。他們永不會(huì)有機(jī)會(huì)來享受早晨的新鮮空氣和寧靜。
這真是一件 發(fā)令人遺憾的事情。早起是我們應(yīng)該養(yǎng)成的一種良好習(xí)慣。為什么？因?yàn)樵绯渴俏覀儚氖聦W(xué)業(yè)的大好時(shí)間。
再者，早起對我們健康也有益處。我希望每個(gè)人應(yīng)該知道我們必須早起的理由。
1、Goldfish金魚
Stan: I won 92 goldfish.
Fred: Where are you going to keep them?
Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?
Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛）them!
斯丹：我贏了 92 條金魚。
弗雷德：你想在哪兒養(yǎng)它們？
斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡時(shí)怎么辦？
斯丹：蒙住它們的眼睛！
2、 The Revenge 欺騙的代價(jià)
Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With alow voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmerJones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Johnson:"But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jonesonce cheated me in a horse deal!"
老農(nóng)約翰遜就要死了。他的家人都站在床邊。他聲音低沉地對妻子說：“我死后，我想你嫁給農(nóng)夫瓊斯。” 妻子說：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁給任何人。” 約翰遜：“但我希望你這么做。” 妻子：“為什么？” 約翰遜：“因?yàn)榄偹乖谝还P販馬的交易中欺騙了我。”
3、I think that I'm a chicken 我想我是一只雞
Psychiatrist: What's your problem?
Patient: I think I'm a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
精神病醫(yī)師：你哪里不舒服？
病人：我認(rèn)為我是一只雞。
精神病醫(yī)師：這種情況從什么時(shí)候開始的？
病人：從我還是一只蛋的時(shí)候開始。
4、How do I get the gum out我怎么把口香糖取出來
Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keeptheir ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed upto her and said, "I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum outfrom my ears?"
當(dāng)空中小姐給乘客們發(fā)口香糖的時(shí)候，她解釋說口香糖有助于他們防止耳鳴。飛機(jī)著陸后，一位乘客跑到這位空中小姐面前，說道：“ 我馬上就要見到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖從耳朵里面取出來呢？”
5、 Where Am I 我在哪兒
An Englishman lost his way while he was driving in the countryside. He saw afarmer working in the field nearby, so he went nearer in his car and asked the farmer,"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" "Yes, " the farmerlooked at him strangely and said, "you are in your car, sir."
一個(gè)英國人在鄉(xiāng)下開車時(shí)迷了路，他看見一個(gè)農(nóng)民正在附近的地里干活。于是他就把車開過去問那位農(nóng)民：“勞駕，您能告訴我我現(xiàn)在這是在哪兒嗎？” “可以。”農(nóng)夫奇怪地看了看他，然后說道：“你現(xiàn)在在你的車子里，先生。”
6、Chiefis at the wedding 長官在婚禮上
A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street.
"But officer," the man said, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer."I'm going to put you injail until the chief gets back."
"But ,officer, I …."
"I said to keep quiet! You are going to jail!"
A few hours later, the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Youare lucky because the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a goodmood when he gets back."
"Are you sure?" answered the man in the cell. "I'm thegroom."
大街上的一個(gè)超速駕駛者被警察攔住了。“但是警官”這個(gè)人說道，“我可以解釋的”。“保持安靜”，警察突然說道。“我將把你送往監(jiān)獄，直到長官回來。“但是，警察，我，，，”。“我說過了保持安靜，你要到監(jiān)獄了。”幾小時(shí)后，警察向監(jiān)獄里看了看說道“算你運(yùn)氣好，因?yàn)槲覀兊拈L官正在他女兒的婚禮上。他將帶著一個(gè)愉快的心情回來的。” “你確定”在牢房里的這個(gè)人說道。“我就是新郎呀”。
7、Who Is the Laziest 誰最懶
Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you aquestion. Who is the laziest person in your class?
Tom: I don't know, father.
Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing andwriting, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?
Tom: Our teacher, father.
父親：哎，湯姆，今天我跟你們老師談過，現(xiàn)在我想問你個(gè)問題。你們班上誰最懶？湯姆：我不知道，爸爸。父親：啊，不對，你知道！想想看，當(dāng)別的孩子們都在做作業(yè)、寫字時(shí)，誰在課堂上坐著，只是看人家做功課？湯姆：我們老師，爸爸。
8、TwoBirds 兩只鳥
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now whocan tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside theswallow.
老師： 這兒有兩只鳥，一只是麻雀。誰能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀嗎？學(xué)生：我指不出，但我知道答案。老師：請說說看。學(xué)生：燕子旁邊的就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。
1)TOM'S EXCUSE
Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go
Slow".
湯姆的借口
老師：湯姆，您為什么每天上學(xué)遲到？
湯姆：我每次路過拐角，一個(gè)路標(biāo)上面寫著："學(xué)校----慢行。"
DID YOUR DAD...
2)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"
and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"
湯姆對著吉姆罵道:"我受不了你這個(gè)苯蛋了!"
吉姆說:"你媽媽能!"
附:bear 有兩重意思:"生"和"忍受"這個(gè)笑話正是根據(jù)這點(diǎn).
3)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"
and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"
湯姆對著吉姆罵道:"我受不了你這個(gè)苯蛋了!"
吉姆說:"你媽媽能!"
附:bear 有兩重意思:"生"和"忍受"這個(gè)笑話正是根據(jù)這點(diǎn).
4)A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子進(jìn)入教堂和上帝對話.他問:"主啊, 一百萬美元對你意味著多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又問:"那一百萬年呢?"上帝說:"一秒鐘."最后男子請求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士嗎?"上帝回答:"過一秒鐘."
5)Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches.When Tommy came back,mother asked him,”Did you buy a good box of matches?”
“Yes,Mum.”Tommy replied,”I have tried them all.”
一盒小火柴
媽媽讓湯米去馬路對面的商店里買一盒好用的火柴。湯米回來后，媽媽問他，“你買的是好用的火柴嗎？”
“是的，媽媽。”湯米回答，“我把它們都試過了。”
6)Father:Uh,oh,I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn.
Susie:That is okay ,dad,the policeman behind you just did the same thing!
開車
父親：哎呀，我剛才違規(guī)右轉(zhuǎn)彎了。
蘇西：沒事，爸，跟在你后面的警察也這么轉(zhuǎn)了。
7)Little Robert asked his mother for tow cents.”What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?”
“I gave it to a poor old woman,”he answered.
“You’er a good boy,”said the mother proudly.”Here are tow cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?”
“She is the one who sells the candy.”
好孩子
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
“昨天給你的錢干什么了？”
“我給了一個(gè)可憐的老太婆。”他回答說。“你真是一個(gè)好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說. “再給你兩分錢。可你為什么對那位老太太那么感興趣呢？”
“她是個(gè)賣糖果的。”
8)Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,”What happened?”
“A kid bit me,”replied Ivan.
“Would you recognize him if you sew him again?”asked his mother.
“I’d know him any where,”said Ivan.”I have his ear in my pocket.”
他的耳朵在我的衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流著血回到家里。他媽媽問，“發(fā)生了什么事？”
“一個(gè)男孩咬了我一口。”伊凡說。
“再見到他你能認(rèn)出來嗎？”媽媽問。
“他走到哪里我都能認(rèn)出他，”伊凡說，“他的耳朵還在我的衣兜里。”
9)Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
兩只鳥
老師： 這兒有兩只鳥，一只是麻雀。誰能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀嗎？
學(xué)生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老師：請說說看。
學(xué)生：燕子旁邊的就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。
1.Returning from a golf outing, my husband was greeted at the door by Sara, our four-year-old daughter. "Daddy, who won the golf game? You or Uncle Richie?"
"Uncle Richie and I don't play golf to win," my husband hedged. "We just play to have fun."
Undaunted, Sare said, "Okay, Daddy, who had more fun?"
丈夫打完高爾夫球回來，我們四歲的女兒莎拉在門口迎了上去。“爸爸，誰贏了高爾夫球比賽，是你還是理查叔叔？”
“我和理查叔叔打高爾夫球不是為贏，”丈夫推諉說。“我們打球只是為了開心而已。”
莎拉毫不氣餒，又問：“那么，爸爸，誰玩的更開心呢？”
2.A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. "Well, sit down and eat your tea," said his mother. "Your stomach's hurting because it's empty. It'll be all right when you've got something in it."
Shortly afterwards Dad come in from the office, complaining of a headache.
"That's because it's empty," said his bright son. "You'd be all right if you had something in it."
一個(gè)男孩放學(xué)回家時(shí)，覺得肚子痛。“來，坐下，吃點(diǎn)點(diǎn)心，”媽媽說，“你肚子痛是因?yàn)槎亲邮强盏摹３渣c(diǎn)東西就會(huì)好的。”
一會(huì)兒，男孩的爸爸下班回家了，說是頭痛。
“你頭痛是因?yàn)槟愕哪X袋是空的，”他那聰明的兒子說，“里面裝點(diǎn)東西，就會(huì)好的。”
3.A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well.
Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, "When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam.
Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, "Aren't you pleased that you've come to live with us now?"
一位年輕的母親認(rèn)為，世界上還有許多受饑餓的人，浪費(fèi)食物真不應(yīng)該。有天晚上，在安排幼小的女兒睡覺之前，她給女兒喂夜宵。她先給她一片新鮮的黑面包和黃油，但孩子說她不喜歡這樣吃。她還要一些果醬涂在面包上。
母親看了女兒幾秒鐘，隨即說道，“露茜，當(dāng)我象你一樣小的時(shí)候，總是吃面包加黃油，或者面包加果醬，從來沒有面包既加黃油又加果醬。”
露茜看了母親一會(huì)兒，眼中露出憐憫的神情，然后她柔聲說：“您現(xiàn)在能跟我們生活在一起難道不感到高興嗎？”
Teacher:Wht can fishes only live in the water?
Jack:Because there are lots of cats on the ground.cats on the ground.
老師:“為什么魚只能生活在水中？”
杰克：“因?yàn)殛懙厣嫌性S多貓。”
Policeman:I hope this is your last time.You know,I don'twant to see you here again.
Thief:Why?Are you going to change you job?
警察:我希望這是最后一次逮住你.你知道我不愿意再看到你了.
小偷:怎么?您要換工作了嗎
Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
“昨天給你的錢干什么了？”
“我給了一個(gè)可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。 “你真是個(gè)好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說。“再給你兩分錢。可你為什么對那位老太太那么感興趣呢？”
“她是個(gè)賣糖果的。”
1 那就更糟了 Much Worse
Much Worse
Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?
Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.
中文：
警察：有人搶你的手表時(shí)，你為什么不呼救呢？
男子：要是我張口的話，他們就會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)我的四顆金牙。那就更糟了。
2林肯過生日 Great Event
Teacher: What great event happened in 1809?
Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln was born.
Teacher: Correct. And what great event happened in 1812?
Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln had his third birthday.
老師：1809年發(fā)生了什么重大事件？
小威利：亞伯拉罕-林肯誕生。
老師：正確。那么1812年發(fā)生了什么重要事件呢？
小威利：亞伯拉罕-林肯過他的三周歲生日。
3 Talking clock
會(huì)說話的鐘
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?"
"Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!"
一個(gè)學(xué)生帶他朋友們參觀他的新公寓，甚是得意。“那個(gè)大銅鑼和錘子是干什么用的？”他的一個(gè)朋友問他。“那玩意兒厲害了，那是一個(gè)會(huì)說話的鐘”，學(xué)生回答。“這鐘怎么工作的”，他的朋友問。“看著，別眨眼了”，那學(xué)生走上前一把操起銅鑼和錘子，拼命地敲了一下，聲音震耳欲聾。突然，他們聽到隔壁墻那邊有人狂叫，“別敲了，你這白癡！現(xiàn)在是凌晨兩點(diǎn)鐘了！”
4The Mean Man's Party
吝嗇鬼的聚會(huì)
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"
一個(gè)聲名狼藉的小氣鬼終于決定要請一次客了。他在向一個(gè)朋友解釋怎么找到他家時(shí)說：“你上到五樓，用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了后，再用你的腳把門推開。”
“為什么我要用我的肘和腳呢？”
“天哪！” 吝嗇鬼回答，“你總不會(huì)空著手來吧？”
hey Are Directly from America
Not long after an old Chinese women came back to china from her visit to her daughter in the Sates, she went to a city bank to deposit the U.S. dollars her daughter give her . At the bank counter ,the money was real.It mady out of patience.At last she couid not hold any more, uttering :“trust me, Sir, and trustthe money .They are real U.S. dollars. They.are directly from America. ”
漢譯：
真美鈔
一位中國老婦人到美國去看望女兒回來不久，到一家銀行取存女兒送給她的美元。在銀行柜臺，銀行職員認(rèn)真仔細(xì)的檢查了每一張鈔票看，是否有假。這種做法使老婦人很不耐煩，最后實(shí)在忍不住說：“相信我，先生，也請你相信這些鈔票。這都是真正的美元，是從美國直接帶來的。”
He Won
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他贏了
湯姆：約翰尼，你小弟弟好嗎？
約翰尼：他害病臥床了。他受了傷。
湯姆：真糟糕，怎么回事兒？
約翰尼：我們做游戲，看誰能把身子探出窗外最遠(yuǎn)，他贏了。
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流著血回到家里。他媽媽問，“發(fā)生了什么事？”
“一個(gè)男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡說。
“再見到他你能認(rèn)出來嗎？”媽媽問。
“他走到哪里我都能認(rèn)出他，”伊凡說。“他的耳朵還在我衣兜里呢。”
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
“昨天給你的錢干什么了？”
“我給了一個(gè)可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。 “你真是個(gè)好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說。“再給你兩分錢。可你為什么對那位老太太那么感興趣呢？”
“她是個(gè)賣糖果的。”
Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個(gè)孩子正處于那種對什么事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發(fā)問道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父親回答說，“你瞧那兒站著兩個(gè)警察。如果我把他們看成了四個(gè)，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子說，“那兒只有一個(gè)警察呀！”
Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
好客
由于客人在吃蘋果餡餅時(shí)，家里沒有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子。過了一會(huì)兒，他拿著一片奶酪回到房間，把奶酪放在客人的盤子里。 客人微笑著把奶酪放進(jìn)嘴里說：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夾上，先生。”那小男孩說。
英語小笑話
上個(gè)星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球, 一個(gè)老美看到就笑我說, "Do you
know what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著
性, 縮寫正好是 Adidas) " 我正驚訝他怎么反應(yīng)這么快, 聯(lián)想力這么豐富時(shí),旁邊的
一個(gè)老美幫我解圍, 他說, 有一個(gè)很著名的合唱團(tuán) Korn, 他們的招牌歌之一就是
A.D.I.D.A.S, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢,這個(gè)典故可是很多老美都耳熟
能詳?shù)泥? 下次就換你去取笑老美了.
A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子進(jìn)入教堂和上帝對話.他問:"主啊, 一百萬美元對你意味著多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又問:"且話僂蚰昴?"上帝說:"一秒鐘."最后男子請求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士嗎?"上帝回答:"過一秒鐘."
1,Two birls
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
兩只鳥
老師： 這兒有兩只鳥，一只是麻雀。誰能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀嗎？
學(xué)生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老師：請說說看。
學(xué)生：燕子旁邊的就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。
2. The Fish Net
"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
魚網(wǎng)
"你能告訴我魚網(wǎng)是什么做的嗎，安？" 老師發(fā)問道。
"把許多小孔用繩子栓在一起就成了魚網(wǎng)了。" 小女孩回答道。
3. The New Teacher
George comes from school on the first of September.
"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.
"I didn\'t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."
新老師
9月1日， 喬治放學(xué)回到家里。
"喬治，你喜歡你們的新老師嗎？" 媽媽問。
"媽媽，我不喜歡，因?yàn)樗f3加3得6, 可后來又說2加4也得6。"
4. A physics Examination
Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.
The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls?
Nick\'s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.
一次物理考試
在一次物理考試時(shí)，當(dāng)同學(xué)們都還在苦思冥想時(shí)，尼克很快就答好了第一個(gè)問題。
這個(gè)問題是：為什么在打雷時(shí)，我們總是先看到閃電后聽到雷聲？
尼克的回答是：因?yàn)檠劬υ谇埃湓诤蟆?
Jim’s History Examination
Uncle: How did Jim do in his history examination?
Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn't his fault. They asked him
things that happened before the poor boy was born.
吉姆的歷史考試
舅舅：吉姆這孩子歷史考得怎么樣？
母親：唉，糟透了。可話又說回來，這也不能怪他。嗨，他們盡問一些這個(gè)
可憐的孩子出生前的事兒。
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